I was asked by Bustle to discuss “weird” sex questions that women may have. Below is the article that I contributed to.
When it comes to gettin’ it on, you might consider yourself pretty well-versed in all things related to sex and masturbation. Or, you might just be getting to know yourself. In either case, there’s no denying we can all learn a thing or two, especially when it comes to the most important things every woman should know about sex.
Even though it seems pretty straight forward — find a parter (or kick back by yourself) and get busy — there’s really so much more going on. And there’s so much to learn about what makes you tick. That’s why being able to answer a wide variety of questions about sex, as well as knowing what sex means to you, will ensure you have a good time pretty much every time. It can also mean, at the very least, that you’ll have the tools to fix the things you don’t love about your sex life.
As Sunny Rodgers, a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach says, “It’s important for a woman to be as informed as possible about everything related to sex, because then she can take control of her own pleasure.” If that sounds like a noble goal (which, of course, it is) then read on for some sexy questions every grown ass lady should be able to answer.
1. “Do I know what makes me orgasm?”
Every woman is different when it comes to how she orgasms, so what your friend or sister recommends might not work for you. That’s why experimenting, and informing yourself, is so important. “When I talk to my clients the number one thing I let them know is that 75 percent of women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm,” Rodgers says. If you haven’t been spending enough time figuring out what you like, now’s the time.
2. “Is sex supposed to be like it is in the movies?”
The short answer is no. And the more we can bear that in mind, the better. “If you look at pretty much every movie sex scene, every orgasm is simultaneous and achieved by insertion,” Rodgers says. “And sadly, for a lot of people this is their sexual education. So it’s important to let women know this isn’t the norm.” Many ladies like the aforementioned clitoral stimulation, or some other form of sex that’s equally gratifying. It’s up to you to figure it out.
3. “Do I have to have a vaginal orgasm?”
Women are pretty lucky in that we can have several orgasms, as well as several different types of orgasms. And no, not all of them have to do with the vagina. “So many women think something is wrong with them if they can’t orgasm via vaginal sex,” Rodgers says. You might orgasm from clitoral stimulation, or you might prefer anal sex. Whatever strikes your fancy, it totally counts.